CONTACT POST

[lookingfordaddies]

Hello? You've reached Simmons. I'm not in right now, so if you could leave a message, I'll answer it in an orderly fashion with a call back within the next 48 hours.

Comments

voice

[buildsfriends]

Simmons if orange juice is $3.99 and I have twenty dollars, how many can I get?

Voice forever..

[lookingfordaddies]

Safely you can get four cartons with enough change for a candy bar after. I'm not sure if we pay tax or not...

[buildsfriends]

[hoLY SHIT]

I CAN GET CANDY TOO?!?

AH, JUST- SIMMONS! YOU ARE JUST THE BEST!

[lookingfordaddies]

[is he getting choked up--he is]

G-go get 'em, tiger.

text - misfire

[airshow]

[ attached: majesty ]

New hair goals, whatcha think?

[lookingfordaddies]

I've seen worse...

[ attached: why do you have this picture saved on your phone ]

[airshow]

If by worse you mean BETTER.
Consider also:

[ attached: why ]

[lookingfordaddies]

Okay. Rebuttal:

[ attached: i hate that you're making me trawl through google for these ]

[airshow]

I wonder if it's too late in life to become an avant-garde barber.

[ attached: you love it ]

[lookingfordaddies]

how old are you? I mean, most barbers are older anyway...

[ I'm not sure what love is]

[airshow]

A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells.

[ I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me ]

voicemail

[buildsfriends]

Simmons what are you good at?

[lookingfordaddies]

Organization and math. And being understanding.

[buildsfriends]

...how do you spell organs demonstration?

And math?

[lookingfordaddies]

... What do you need this for, I'll write it..

[buildsfriends]

At my new job with the trains we did a TEAM BUILDING EXERCISE!! that was very exciting and fun to do, and we all talked to each other and wrote down things we were good at and bad at to see what we all were bad and good at. And then we talked about it and then we promised to help each other and it was fun. So I'm going to make lists for everybody so we can help each other and all be friends again.

[lookingfordaddies]

That sounds good, I'll have to use that in my job... I'll just send you a text with it spelled out.

text

[lookingfordaddies]

Simmons is well-organized, well-spoken, and a team player.

voice

[buildsfriends]

[copies it down, spells roughly everything wrong]

Can you help me make lists for everyone else? You're not doing anything, right? You usually aren't. [ruDE

but kinda true i mean cmon]

[lookingfordaddies]

Who else do you need lists for?

[buildsfriends]

All the Reds. And Wash. And Wash's girlfriend Maine. And Tex. And uhhh...who else is here?

misfire text

[bestsword]

my two favorite letters of the alphabet, E Z

Text

[lookingfordaddies]

I like p and q myself

[bestsword]

well I could always put my d in your a

[lookingfordaddies]

Tucker I never realized you had these feelings for me, but you might want to talk to Donut instead...

1/2

[bestsword]

what

[wait]

[bestsword]

[Who else actually brings up Donut by name??? ALSO IS A NERD fuck red alert]

Simmons what the fuck are you doing at this number???

[lookingfordaddies]

Apparently I'm bringing all the boys to the yard?? How the fuck should I know, you're the one doing this crap!

[bestsword]

No you're not shut up
and none of that was for you!

fuck I think numbers are all messed up

[lookingfordaddies]

conceal don't feel, Tucker

[bestsword]

don't bring your work home with you simmons

[lookingfordaddies]

I'm still not comfortable looking you in the eye

[bestsword]

and I'm not comfortable knowing your favorite letters are p and q like what the fuck dude

[lookingfordaddies]

it's because you mind them, Tucker, because you mind them!!

[bestsword]

ok that's stupid

also meaning to ask what's the deal with the labels in the kitchen

[lookingfordaddies]

it's to tell where the food goes. I'd label the packages but Grif lives here, so if food stays in the cabinet for more than three days I'm surprised.

Or the food is vegetables.

[bestsword]

God you're such a nerd

At least you didn't label everything else in the house

voicemail;

[buildsfriends]

What is taking Donut and Red Sergeant so long?

text

[fuckai]

holy shit! i can't believe this asshole's selling headlight fluid at $2 a can!

[Church, don't trigger people with clickbait. That's fucking rude.

But man, what a great two-for-one. He can set off a terror bomb on the reds and annoy the shit out of Tucker at the same time!]